my name is luca, i live on the second floor... sorry, i've just had that song stuck in my head for ages and it had to be put into words. camp's less than a week away. that's pretty much it. cakey went to the canteen office and found a plaque that orange made. it had his name in big bold letters. he wrote about his determination to beat his disease. goes nicely with my breakdown last week when i sat and listened to sad music and wrote a tribute for him that no one'll hear and is covered in tear spots. there are so many more important things to fight and argue and get worked up about in life then $25 for a video game. wish people could see that.

cornflake. xo

well well well... someone has found this! don't really mind one way or the other. guess i just have to be a little more careful now. not that i reckon i said anything too dodgy before. must go back and check that later. 6 weeks til play. and for a week in  that i'm going to be stuck with people in kalbarri that i've been avoiding for half a year. anyone who's read the assorted ramblings will know about my orange. well, every time i see these people, the wound from him just gets cut right open again. i'm not strong. it's too fucking hard to be around their false hope and cheeriness. only going with them to get out of this fucking place. guess i'm damned if i do damned if i don't. fanfuckingtastic.

cornflake xo

does anyone know a song called "halfway down the stairs"? it's based on a poem by a. a. milne and robin, kermit's nephew, sung it on "the muppet show" over 40 years ago now... wow... anyway,  it's very beautiful and makes me want to cry (the first time i heard it was watching jerry nelson sing it at jim henson's funeral) and i can't find it for download anywhere. very frustrating! oh well. that's all that i've really got on my mind now. maths wasn't as bad as i was expecting (although i will do something to celebrate if i do pass) and drama tomorrow to finish off my last exams forever! yay! wish i could look forward to this more but i am gonna miss everybody. maybe there's a stair i'll sit on to watch the world go on without me. it won't be at the bottom, not at the top either, just halfway down the stairs is where i think i'd like to stop.

cornflake xo

holy fuck. maths exam. drama exam. please let me die. i know i'm gonna do horribly. and it's not like i'm be around long enough to reap the benefits of the marks i get. but if i make it too obvious i'll get watched and questioned and try to be talked out of it. they just won't get it. it's not a snap decision. it's been coming for a while. i just don't want to be here anymore.

cornflake xo

gah, getting distracted. watching "dilbert" is not a good way to try and write an entry. today's been good apart from being stood up. apparently she was hung over. not sure if that's supposed to absolve someone entirely but i'll grin and bear it. nearly finished "death note" and decided that if i get to supernova (anime convention... twill be sweeeeeeeeeeet) i'll be sailor neptune. can buy the costume for about $150 and get a special wig and dee sea mirror. should be no more than $300. god, that would be awesome to be a sailor scout. and have had another foreign guy add me. not turkish this time, egyptian. let's call him akran. apparently he loves my face and wants to kiss it :) is it sad that i don't find this creepy at all and am just flattered and have got the butterflies going? oh well. screw you. i'm finally getting attention from someone. he seems very nice and not too bad on the eyes. i've already been invited to visit him in alexandria.

cornflake xoxo

hmm. interesting. who'd have thought that a person who yells and gets so frustrated at you could be the one to make you feel better? he doesn't get it. i don't entirely either. we've gone back to being best friends and it just seems right. maybe it's because he yells and gets angry at me that i put up with him so much. it's easy for someone to tell you you're great and you're gonna get through it or whatever to shut you up, but for someone to care that much that it hurts them when you fuck up? that's gotta be something special.

cornflake xo

today has not been a good day. plenty of crops to harvest on farmtown but that's about it. my arms bore the brunt of it. poor guys. been trying to start the next installment of "sailor grace" but every picture i draw turns to shit. especially frustrating when you know how it's supposed to go but your stupid hand won't follow your mind. watched half a season of "south park" and have only got 1 giggle and not through lack of trying. wonder what would happen if i wasn't here for the play. guess if i did it sooner rather than later someone else could learn my lines. we'll see how rehearsal goes tomorrow.

cornflake xo